Bad news or good news first?

OK let’s start with the bad news. I’m not running the New Jersey half marathon on Sunday.IMG_9455

This will be the second half marathon I’ve had to DNS this year. I wasn’t able to run the Philly Love Run last month due to this toe injury (and I also wasn’t able to run the 3rd of the trail run series meaning I’ll only have 2/3 of my interlocking medal. )

How sad....2/3 of an interlocking medal

How sad….2/3 of an interlocking medal.

Good news….I can walk 3 straight miles before my toe starts to hurt.

walkin'

walk 3 miles once a day

IMG_9461This is progress. Unfortunately my entire body lost fitness and all my muscles are so sore, achy and tight. My “good” side has been bearing extra pounding while I limped for the last 5 weeks that everything is angry. My knee hurts, my foot hurts, my glutes hurt, my hamstrings hurt. Sigh! This is going to be a LONG recovery process. I’m actually wondering if I’ll even be able to run the Brooklyn Half in 3 weeks.

More good news. I’m going to be at the start and the finish line to cheer Mr. SOTSS on. Last time I was at one of his races he set a PR so hopefully I’ll have the same effect on him.

I saw a clip on Rachel Ray this morning with Bob Harper, the coach from the Biggest Loser who recently had an almost fatal heart attack. His story resonated with me because he spoke about his fear of returning to the very thing that is his passion….the gym/working out. I’m feeling similar about running.

So, with a stiff upper lip I accompanied Mr. SOTSS to the expo. This wasn’t the first time I went to an expo for a race I couldn’t run. Ah, Brooklyn 2015.

I’m truly excited for him and to be able to see him cross the finish line but I’d be lying if I said I’m not crushed that I won’t be able to run. Figures….good weather forecast too.

So until further notice my prescription for recovery will be to walk 3 miles once a day….with meals of course. 😉

And of course taking lots of cute photos of Duncan always cheers me up.

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Have a great weekend!

Hi there.

How are you? I watched the Boston Marathon yesterday while working and couldn’t help but tear up watching Meb cross the finish line at his final competitive Boston Marathon. He’s an amazing athlete but more than that he displays such grace and is an inspiration to so many. meb-final-boston

Watching the marathon also made me teary eyed because it reminded me how lost I feel without running and especially the structure of training for races. I’m working really hard at keeping myself positive and keeping things in perspective especially this week….tomorrow will mark 18 years since I lost my husband to cancer. I always get very reflective during this time of the year.

18 1/2 years since this photo. I can only smile but still feel sadness when I think of all the things he never got to do in life having it end so early.

18 1/2 years since this photo. I can only smile at the memories but still feel sadness when I think of all the things he never got to do in his short life.

And I can’t help but to think about the journey my life took from April 19, 1999 to today. I had 2 choices when going through such a traumatic experience. I could let it swallow me and withdraw from life or I could work really hard every day to do my “grief work” to help myself heal. I chose the latter and while I had plenty of pity parties along the way I truly made an effort each and every day to live fully.

So in the midst of this toe injury I’m starting to connect those dots (again!). I have 2 choices right? Well I want to do whatever I can each day to help myself heal.

I was feeling a lot of improvement with the toe last week and then this weekend I had a setback and it felt more achy and uncomfortable but today it’s starting to bounce back a little. Another reminder that the healing process isn’t linear. There will be ups and downs but if I continue to do the work and rest and ice and massage and strengthen I’m on the right path.

I have that tendency to spiral when I don’t see progress fast enough and this injury is just another opportunity to build mental toughness and to get better at handling this kind of stuff. Really, if you look at it from the perspective that any setback or bad time in your life is an opportunity to build mental toughness your ahead of the game. Like looking at a glass half full right?

I rode my bike again this weekend while Mr. SOTSS ran and it was awesome. bike-daffodils12 miles for me and 10 for him. teamsternwellWhile I don’t feel like biking replaces how running makes me feel it definitely helps. And knowing that I’m making an effort to be active rather than sitting on the sofa all day sulking means I’m doing my “work”.bike-imposter

We drove out to Long Island to his Dad’s for Easter this weekend and spent some time at the beach with the dogs before the festivities began. smile-sallyboy-dogIt almost didn’t happen because Mr. SOTSS had some really bad poison ivy and after a few days of some major discomfort we decided to go to an urgent care facility to see if he could get some stronger meds. Unfortunately since it was Easter Sunday, they were the only location open around town making them so crowded that we bailed. Mr. SOTSS didn’t want to sacrifice the time slot we had set aside to take the dogs to the beach and decided he’d just suck it up and deal with the poison ivy discomfort for now. I don’t know if I could have done the same. sternwell eastbeach

Good catch Chester!

Good catch Chester!

What opportunities do you use to build mental toughness?

Are you a glass half empty or glass half full kind of person?

Anyone else dealing with an injury or other setback?

I’ve been so busy with work yesterday and today I’m just getting a chance to check in about my #ToeWoes.

So I went to my podiatrist yesterday to go over the MRI. We both agreed that the “small neuroma” that was found by the MRI is NOT the cause of my toe pain. I actually knew I had the potential of a neuroma in that toe about 15 years ago. I had been under the care of a podiatrist then but she didn’t do any diagnostic tests. She just made me some metatarsal pads and fitted me for custom orthotics. This was way before my running days. I was wearing boots/shoes way more than sneakers a lot and apparently they were too narrow. I was also in my kickboxing phase (where you are literally on the balls of your feet the entire class). And the pain built up over 6 months to a year. Anyway that hasn’t been an issue at all since.

So it was nice to see that the MRI showed it because that means I’ve been doing a great job of keeping it under control. That’s probably because I wear sneakers with lots of cushioning and a wide toe box about 80 percent of the time these days.

The MRI also confirmed there was some mild swelling (edema) which makes sense. It ruled out, stress fracture, plantar plate tear, bursitis and capsulitis. Joints were all good. Bones were all good.

Doc said he still feels strongly that because the lump had that bluish hue that this was most likely an injury to a vein or a tendon near a vein. He said it’s healing on it’s own and I definitely feel improvement with each day so he said let’s just keep waiting a few more weeks (AH that feels like forever!). But he feels pretty confident that time will heal whatever this is. So whatever it is and however long it causes me to be on the running sidelines is really not 100% clear.

I will definitely categorize this in the oddest injury I’ve ever had. And I’m going to assume that kicking that toe back in January started the trauma that led to the final injury when I wore my new sneakers for 2 runs back to back. PSA: Always lace up your new shoes to what’s comfortable for you and don’t leave them laced as they came. Funny how I ran feeling tingling and numbness but didn’t stop to adjust those laces.

After Saturday’s ride while Mr. SOTSS ran we both went for a ride on Sunday and then stopped for root beer floats on the way home. That was truly the perfect way to close out such a great weekend.

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Speaking of biking, I’m going to head out shortly to get some fresh air and get some blood flowing.

In other news Duncan got groomed

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Have a great week!

 

30. March 2017 · 2 comments · Categories: injury · Tags: ,

Hello and happy humpday! I should be hiking with my hiking friends tonight but alas I’m still limping along and had to back out for the 2nd week in a row! #beingadramaqueen

Yesterday I went to my primary doc mostly just as protocol for me to have authorization to see the foot doctor today. She said the nodule under my toe was probably a ganglion cyst and that the foot doc would probably aspirate it. She said I shouldn’t worry about the bluish color, but I left there feeling quite unconvinced. After spending too much time looking at those type of cysts online, mine looked nothing like that. And I knew that the bluish color had to mean something.

Anyway, today I saw the foot doc. IMG_8654He pushed on the lump and I winced in agony it hurt so bad. He said it was definitely NOT a ganglion cyst as it wasn’t fluid filled. He immediate said I need to get an MRI to determine what it was. He felt the bluish color meant something vascular but wouldn’t say more. He also said “nothing to be worried about”. Although that really doesn’t comfort me for the time being because I’m still limping and now have to wait first for the authorization for my MRI to come through (I’m told Friday) and then I’ll have to make an appointment for the MRI.

This is all just too bizarre for me. I’m almost done with my pity party. IMG_8643

Going to try riding my bike tomorrow to “sweat out the small stuff”.

After two days of rain I decided I’d just limp around the park with Duncan after I came home from the foot doc.

we took it slow. he's such a patient pup

we took it slow. he’s such a patient pup

Yesterday the poor thing was so bored that I took him to the pet store just to get him out of the house for a bit. IMG_8651So that’s my toe update. It still hurts, I’m still limping and feeling fairly frustrated. But it’s small potatoes right?