I interrupt my regularly scheduled blog post programming with this:

em • pa • thy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Today the universe was telling me something. It was telling me to grieve just a little today. It was telling me to think of what I went through in the days leading up to April 19, 1999 and in the years since.

I have been subscribing to a Melanoma group email dating back to 1998 when my then boyfriend was first diagnosed with Melanoma. Needless to say all these years later I’ve never unsubscribed but rarely read the threads. I mostly just hit the delete button and carry on with my day. But today I read it. And a woman announced sadly that her husband Wayne lost his battle this morning. Wayne was diagnosed 14 years ago and I remember clearly trying to offer support although I was literally deep in my grief as I had only been widowed a year or so at that point. I’ve honestly not even thought of that couple since. So when I read the news today I was struck with an overwhelming feeling. The definition of empathy seems to describe my initial reaction. My eyes welled with tears. I knew in that moment what her next few hours, days, weeks, months and years would be like. I knew because I’ve lived it. Sometimes it’s frustrating to have feelings brought to the surface like that…especially that I’m so far down the road. But then I realize how important it is for me—and for her. I can help her when she might feel like nobody understands. I can help her see that she too can carry on and thrive in the future. And that makes my loss less painful and more understandable.

Every single day there is someone grieving over the loss of someone or something…the death of a loved one, a friendship that’s grown distant, a divorce, heck even a running injury that causes a race cancelation. We need to be empathetic where we can. I may not understand the grief felt by someone who’s lost a parent, or who is divorced, but I sure do understand the loss of a spouse to Melanoma.

So today I pulled out Dickey’s picture, kissed his forehead, told him I missed him and that he’s always with me and then I put that picture back in the box. I was meant to grieve just a little today…and I was meant to help others through my loss.

10156017_10203578143955880_3033698985117140879_nTomorrow I’ll get back to my regularly scheduled programming =)

Thanks for letting me share.


honey bunches of oats

my honey bunches of oats on our wedding day

Today marks 15 years since the love of my life took his last breath after succumbing to Melanoma. He was 29 and I was 25. It was a forever changing moment in my life. While I knew I’d “be ok”, I had no idea how ok I’d really be. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d end up falling in love with another guy running and conquering the marathon distance, not once, but (after next week) 5 times.

If you’ve watched this video then you know how I put the life back in my life after being inspired by my friend Lisa who ran marathons. This morning actually, I met up with Lisa and our friend Mike for a run in Brooklyn. I just ran with Lisa last week although we still had plenty to catch up on and since Mike had to work last weekend I got to catch up with him too. Actually come to think of it he didn’t say anything about what’s going on with him? He let Lisa and I take over the conversation =) Such a gentleman. They did a loop before I arrived but I got in 5 solid miles. Then we had breakfast at the new Whole Foods that opened up near them.

photo 2

This Whole Foods was a mecca….the most ginormous of all the Whole Foods I’ve ever been to. It has a rooftop deck where you can even get a glass of wine or just eat your salad bar goodies. I tried not to overdo it with breakfast since I only ran 5 miles which meant getting one biscuit and no pancakes.. I know! Self control at it’s finest =) (and the pancakes had blueberries in them too!)

Brooklyn Whole Foods

Outside they had this adorable dog area with fresh water a place to pee and if you donate $1 you can get a small bag of dog treats. How cute?!

We did some grocery shopping and then I gave them a ride back to their apartments and headed home. My training plan called for 7 miles today and 4 tomorrow so I thought I’d just swap and run the 7 tomorrow but when I got home it was only 11am and so nice out that I figured I’d just bang out a few more miles.

photo 1

In total I actually got 8 miles in. And then I walked the dog for 2 more miles! And then I realized I needed to take care of a situation that has been weighing heavily on my mind.


Fro-Yo: The 6th food group.

It had been 6 months since my last trip for fro-yo! Say what???? So now all is right with the world.

Tomorrow the doodle and I are headed up to my friend Susan’s for Easter. I’m making a fruit salad. I cheated a little and bought lots of pre-cut fruit for a million dollars while I was at Whole Foods! =)

You may or may not see a photo of Duncan wearing rabbit ears tomorrow. I guess I’ll see how much I can get away with if I have some treats in my hands. (He hates things on his head).

Hope you’re all enjoying your Spring weekend wherever you are! And if you’re on your way to or already in Boston for the marathon good luck!

Question: When was the last time you had fro-yo? When was the last time you had your skin checked out at the dermatologist? May is Melanoma Awareness month so I will make sure to remind you all again to get those moles checked out and wear sunscreen too!